Sorted
by Broken Gold
Summary: Scorpius Malfoy DOES want to be in Slytherin. Sort of... Written for T/Ds July-August Challenge. Minor RosexScorpius if you squint really hard.


**Disclaimer: I don't own it.**

**Written for the July-August T/D challenge.**

…**Yeah.**

**-------------**

"Ah, a new Malfoy. Well, normally I wouldn't even have to think about this, but…"

"_But_?" Scorpius Malfoy's eyes widened with alarm. He was sitting on a wooden stool (in front of all of Hogwarts, just to make matters more nerve-racking) with the tattered, old Sorting Hat on his white-blonde head. "What do you mean, 'but'?"

"You needn't speak out loud you know," muttered the Sorting Hat. "I can hear your thoughts."

"That's terribly reassuring," hissed Scorpius, scrunching his grey eyes shut to block out the image of the entirety of the student body staring at him. "I'm glad a_ hat_ can read my mind."

"You should be," said the Sorting Hat wisely. "It makes it much easier for me to decide where to put you."

"You don't _need_ to decide. My grandfather said that if I wasn't in Slytherin-"

"He would never speak to you again. Yes, yes, I know all of that." Scorpius imagined that if the hat had hands it would be waving his words away at the moment. "I can see inside your head, boy-"

"You've already said that." Scorpius gripped the stool in frustration. "So if you could just get on with this placing me in Slytherin thing."

"Now, is that really what you want?" The hat asked.

Out loud Scorpius said, "Of course you worthless excuse for an accessory." His thoughts however said, _Um…_

"'Um', you say? Hmm… Curious. And what does your father say."

Scorpius sighed in resignation. _He says he doesn't care what house I'm in._

"And?"

_And that if I make the same mistakes as he did he will personally remove me from this school._

"I see… Now I want you to tell me what you think?"

"I don't know alright!" Scorpius shouted and then groaned cracking his eyes open to see the weird looks he was receiving. "Oh, that was intelligent of me…"

"You are very _intelligent_ you know," said the Hat suddenly. "Quite clever…"

Scorpius' eyes widened to saucers. _No._

"Well, why do you want to be in Slytherin?" asked the hat curiously.

_Because…_

"…your grandfather told you too?" Finished the Hat.

_Maybe a little,_ sighed Scorpius. _I don't want to upset him._

"Scorpius, do you like you grandfather at all?" Scorpius fidgeted a little. "I see… Does anyone you actually like want you to be in Slytherin?"

"Erm…"

"Then who, in Merlin's name, are you trying to please?" asked the Hat. "Because, really, if you don't want to be in Slytherin, and nobody you like cares what house you're in, and you'll just end up incredibly miserable and friendless, because nobody will really like you there-"

_Gee, thanks, _thought Scorpius, tugging at the sleeves on his robes. _If_ you're _so clever where do you think I should go then?_

Too late Scorpius realized his mistake as the Hat shouted, "RAVENCLAW!" at the top of its lungs.

A stunned silence filled the hall as Scorpius stared around at everyone's shocked faces. _I hate you,_ he thought to the hat, before taking it off and tossing it to "Potter, Albus Severus" and marching to the staring Ravenclaw table, before taking his place beside a tall, pretty, red-haired girl who looked about three years older than him.

"Um… hi," she said. "I'm Dominique Weasley." She extended delicate hand with lilac painted fingernails.

"Hello, I'm doomed," he said, shaking her hand and smiling.

She laughed quietly and then turned her attention to where the boy he had handed the hat to was now sitting on the stool with a terrified expression on his face. "That's my cousin Al." She smiled. "He's afraid he'll be put in Slytherin."

Scorpius contemplated killing himself out of sheer irony.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Albus leapt off of the stool (looking thoroughly pleased with himself, the lucky git) and raced towards a loudly cheering table where he was clapped on the back by what looked like a taller, red-headed version of himself. "How many cousins do you have?"

Dominique winced. "You really don't want to know." She rolled her brown eyes and watched 'Real, Pierce' be sorted into Hufflepuff. "What about you, any relatives?"

Scorpius shook his head. "Only mental ones."

Dominique smiled, and they compared childhoods throughout the sorting until there were only two nervous first years left in line and McGonagall called out, "Weasley, Rose."

"Ooooh! Look!" Dominique said excitedly. "Rose's getting sorted now."

"Sister?" Asked Scorpius as a girl with straight, brown hair and large, blue eyes raced to the stool, almost tripping over her long black school robes in excitement.

"Another cousin," laughed Dominique. She pointed at a blonde girl at the Hufflepuff table, who had her back turned to them. "That's my sister, Victoire." She made a face. "She's Head Girl."

"Cool," said Scorpius.

"Not cool at all," Dominique said, making a disgruntled face. "She gets everything she wants _and_ she's dating Teddy Lupin."

"Who?"

"19 years old, really hot, metamorphmagus," sighed Dominique. "I think Rosie's almost done being sorted, she looks like she's about to burst with excitement."

"RAVENCLAW!" shouted the hat, and Dominique leapt to her feet, cheering loudly for her cousin as the Ravenclaw's around her clapped enthusiastically.

_Wow,_ thought Scorpius sardonically, _that was almost as cheery as my welcome._

Dominique flagged her down and she grinned, taking a seat across from Scorpius, who now that she was up close, realized that she was really quite pretty. "Hi," she said to him. "My name's Rose. My father says I should beat you in every test."

Scorpius raised an eyebrow and Dominque giggled into her hand. "Erm, alright then…"

"I think he's being ridiculous," said Rose cheerfully. "Let's be friends!"

Scorpius fought the urge to laugh as he extended a hand. "I'm sure we'll get along. Your sorting took almost as long as mine."

"Oh, yes." Rose smiled. "The hat couldn't decide whether it wanted put me in Gryffindor or Ravenclaw, because it said I would've fit into either, but eventually I had to choose, and I picked Ravenclaw obviously, because I think it's the best house in the end, really. So what about you? How come you aren't in-"

"SLYTHERIN!" shouted the hat cutting across her excited words, and 'Zabini, Taylor' ran to her new house table excitedly, ending the sorting.

"The hat wouldn't listen to me," Scorpius explained.

"Oh no," laughed Dominique. "I wanted to be in Gryffindor when I got sorted, because that was where Roxanne –another cousin of mine," she added for Scorpius' benefit, "was placed, and Teddy was there too, and he's just _gorgeous_, but the hat was sort of like, 'Hell no, bitch!' and put me here."

Scorpius snorted.

"According to my mum, the hat listens to what you want," said Rose. "But I suppose it doesn't when the only reason for that is other people, because really, that's a ridiculous reason to want to go into a certain house, and you'll end up hating it later and not being able to do anything about it, and-"

"Merlin, you talk fast!" Scorpius cut in laughing.

Rose blushed. "Sorry, I do that when I'm nervous."

Dominique laughed, "Calm down, Rosie. It's only the first day. You don't have to worry about anything yet."

"Just wait. I'll be the one who gets eaten by a plant in the first Herbology class," Scorpius assured her. "I've got the most rotten luck of anyone you've ever met!"

Rose laughed. "Just wait, I'll fall off of the Astronomy tower."

"I'll be sure to bring a camera," said Dominique. "Now shut up, McGonagall's starting her speech.

As McGonagall began her lecture on the various rules of Hogwarts, Scorpius watched a man who looked suspiciously like Neville Longbottom from his chocolate frog card collection carry the Sorting Hat out of the hall.

Maybe this wouldn't be as bad as he had thought…


End file.
